Why Autism Gets Missed
Autism wasn't always understood the way it is now. If you didn't fit that narrow picture, you were unlikely to be identified.
Outdated Diagnostic Criteria
The "classic" autism presentation was defined by researchers observing males. Girls, women, and anyone who presented differently were systematically missed.
Masking and Camouflaging
Many autistic people — especially those socialised as girls — learned early to hide their differences. Copying peers, suppressing stims, forcing eye contact. The mask worked well enough to pass as neurotypical, but at enormous personal cost.
High Academic Achievement
"But you did well in school" is something many late-diagnosed autistics hear. Intelligence doesn't prevent autism — it can actually help mask it.
Misdiagnosis
Before autism was considered, many people received other diagnoses: anxiety, depression, disordered eating, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, ADHD alone. These conditions can co-occur with autism, but often the autism was the underlying piece that explained why other treatments only partially helped.
Signs That Often Get Overlooked
- →Social exhaustion after "normal" interactions — needing hours or days to recover from social events.
- →Sensory sensitivities dismissed as "fussiness" — can't wear certain fabrics, overwhelmed by busy environments.
- →Intense interests labelled as "obsessions" — deep dives into topics that bring joy and focus.
- →Difficulty with unwritten social rules — feeling like everyone else got a manual you never received.
- →Burnout cycles mistaken for depression — pushing through until you can't, crashing, repeating.
- →Feeling "different" without knowing why — a persistent sense of observing humanity from the outside.
What Late Diagnosis Feels Like
Relief
"There's a reason. It's not a character flaw. I'm not broken — my brain just works differently." For many, finally having an explanation brings profound relief.
Grief
Grief for the years spent not knowing. For the support you could have had. For the energy spent trying to be someone you weren't. This grief is real and valid.
Re-evaluation
Looking back at your entire life through a new lens. Childhood struggles, relationship patterns, career choices — everything gets reframed.
Identity Shifts
Integrating "autistic" into your identity is a process. There's no right speed, and your relationship with this part of yourself will likely evolve.
A note on "unmasking": After diagnosis, many people feel pressure to immediately unmask. Be gentle with yourself. The mask developed as a survival strategy. Taking it off is gradual, and some parts can stay.
What Helps After Diagnosis
Finding Community
Connecting with other autistic people — especially other late-diagnosed adults — can be transformative. For the first time, you might find people who truly understand.
Adjusting Expectations
Diagnosis gives you permission to reassess. Maybe you don't need to enjoy parties. Maybe your need for alone time isn't antisocial. Maybe the accommodations you've been quietly making for yourself are actually reasonable.
Sensory Accommodations
Now that you understand your sensory differences, you can address them directly. Noise-cancelling headphones, specific textures, control over lighting — these aren't luxuries, they're access needs.
Understanding Your Capacity
Concepts like "spoon theory" or "energy accounting" can help you understand and communicate your fluctuating capacity. Learning to track and budget energy helps prevent burnout cycles.
How We Support Late-Diagnosed Adults
Assessment Tailored to Adult Presentations
We understand that autism in adults — especially those who've spent years masking — doesn't look like the textbook descriptions.
Focus on Self-Understanding, Not "Fixing"
Our goal isn't to make you more neurotypical. It's to help you understand your brain and build a life that actually fits who you are.
Executive Function Support
We help build systems and supports that work for your brain, not against it.